Possibilities Hypnosis

Rhode Island Massachusetts Hypnosis Centers

 

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Rumford, Rhode Island

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You are here: Home / Hypnosis for Social Fear

Hypnosis for Social Fear

HYPNOSIS TO REPLACE SOCIAL FEAR
WITH CONFIDENCE

Imagine standing in the checkout line at your neighborhood supermarket. Nothing is wrong. Yet you are almost rigid with fear again. And this sense of impending disaster is a familiar feeling.

Hesitantly you look around.  As you suspected,  all eyes are on you.  They can see right through you.

Your vulnerability is as plain as if you wore a sign that said,  “I am afraid of you. I am different.” The man behind you says something.  You try to respond.  You try to say something. You try to say anything. No words actually come out. ‘You stammer.”

He says, “What did you say?”  You know he must be sure that you are a complete fool. Your mind has gone blank.  All you want is to be alone in your room.

A nightmare? Well, sort of. It is a description of a typical incident in the life of  someone with extreme social fear. It can even be a phobia.  Social phobia is an irrational and excessive fear of other people. The Social Phobia Association estimates that 7% of all Americans suffer from it. Shame and embarrassment are their most common emotions.

Severity ranges from discomfort to immobilization. Sometimes the phobia centers on people in particular situations  or particular kinds of people. Large gatherings. Strangers. Authority figures. Dating situations. Other times it is more generalized extending to family members and other people supposedly close and non-threatening. The socially fearful person feels as if he or she is being constantly judged, and found lacking.

How do social phobics cope? Often they respond in a very understandable way. They avoid any potentially threatening social interaction. They turn down invitations. They isolate. Often they lead lonely lives of extreme avoidance and self-inflicted isolation.

All the Lonely People. Where do they all come from?

What causes social phobia? Probably a combination of an innate sensitivity and lack of emotional support perhaps even oppression, in childhood.  Social phobia is a learned emotional response. Just as we learn to speak, ride a bike, read and handle the myriad challenges associated with life, we learn how to perceive  ourselves in relation to other people. The social phobic defines him or herself as less than others.

They see themselves as uniquely socially inept. They become preoccupied with what they regard as their defect. And they endow others with an aura of exaggerated prestige. The problem stems from childhood and is aggravated by the young social phobics experiences growing up into society. A painful self-fulfilling prophecy is acted out in a series of reactivating, highly emotional encounters. These crystallize the sufferer’s identification of himself as separate  from and less than others.  These situations might be job interviews that go poorly, social situations such as parties, romances gone bad, or downright bullying.  These reinforce the social phobic’s view of himself as “less than” others and in danger of losing control of him or herself at a moment’s notice. They come to see other people as threatening and themselves as lacking any power for self-defense.  Falling apart in public is a common worry of socially phobic people. They fear social situations where they will simply cease to function appropriately and make a fool out of himself or herself. Unable to speak. Incapable of thought. Utterly humiliated. Destroyed. Paralyzed with fear.

Often, they are also troubled by a mistaken belief that others can “see through them” to their fearful, vulnerable core. Instead of going about their lives, social phobics may literally wish they could sink into the floor and disappear from sight.  In a way, this is exactly what happens. The social phobic comes to dread a repetition of the feelings of emotional devastation and, understandably, tries to avoid similar situations in the future. As with any intense irrational fear, their life constricts to eliminate or minimize the possibility of the phobic situation.  Since the fear is of other people, it can lead to as complete isolation as the social phobic can manage.  Their isolation reinforced the social phobic’s belief that there is something fundamentally wrong with them. This leads to more avoidance and greater isolation. The workplace and other situations where they are forced to interact are torturous. Any social activity that can be avoided is. Yet, ironically, social phobics may be perceived of as “stuck up”, “snobby” or “condescending” by people who don’t know that they keep their distance out of crippling fear.  Another irony is that social phobics tend to spend an excessive time thinking about themselves. Their focus is turned inward instead of outward.  Social phobia can be a crippling problem that effects every aspect of a person’s life. Career. Social. Intimate relationships.

It is a lonely world.

All the Lonely People. Where do they all belong?

The good news is that there is hope for people with social fear, even the true social phobic. Psychiatric medication and psychotherapy are both often effective in reducing the social phobic’s suffering.  Psychiatric medication and a diagnosis of social phobia are handled between you and your physician. The manufacturers of the anti-depressant Paxil present it as effective in treating social phobia. They are drawing the public’s attention to the existence of this phobia in a series of television commercials.  But your doctor will have to be the one to prescribe any medication. The other often effective treatment modality is cognitive behavior therapy. This is a psychotherapeutic approach whose goal is to change thinking and behavior patterns that plague the social phobic.  A cognitive behavior therapist guides the client to identify the self-defeating beliefs and thinking patterns that limit his or her life and to replace these with positive, reality-based perspectives. The therapist then directs the client to reinforce this new thinking with new behavior. You’ll find that David Burns’ book Feeling Good: the New Mood Therapy offers a great introduction to cognitive therapy.

If this description of social phobia sounds even a little like your life, please do something about it.  This may be more difficult than it sounds to the average reader. And many social phobics do not seek treatment. They assume this is just “the way they are.”  But it is not. It is a learned response. This means it can be unlearned and that is well worth the effort.  You are not alone. Help is available for the asking.  If you have a family member or friend who seems to fit this description, you might urge them to take the step.

Sadly, support groups are few and far between. This is possibly due to nature of the phobia. If you are interested in starting one yourself, you should visitwww.spnewsletter.com/frontdoor.html .’ This is the website of the Alliance for People with Social Phobia. They offer support for people including starting and running support groups.  You might also try www.socialanxietysupport.com and www.socialphobia.org  for information and support.

How hypnosis can help

Working in conjunction with your licensed therapist, hypnosis can add another dimension by implanting new thinking patterns as post-hypnotic suggestions. Hypnotic suggestions can help the client raise their self-image as they learn to see themselves as worthy, whole, complete and equal to any and all whom they might meet. Hypnosis and visualization also allow the client to “practice” new behaviors within the safety of a hypnotically induced sensation of relaxation and peacefulness. In this way the client can gradually desensitize him or herself before reinforcing these ideas in real life.

The change can be immediate and dramatic; but more likely expect a gradual improvement as you begin to be less preoccupied with yourself and others reaction to you.

Used to vomit in public places
“Good Morning John, I just wanted to take a minute to give you an update regarding my son Tommy I'm not sure if you remember ( I know you see many) but Tommy had the nervous stomach issue were he would get nervous and vomit when going to public places.  More importantly, we were very concerned on how he would react going to a new school (High School) and taking the bus for the first time. Since we last saw you - Tommy has gone away for the weekend with his buddy, gone to the movies with his buddies and just going out in general - has been doing FABULOUS!!! He started school last Monday - no Vomiting!!  Still a bit nervous - but has been doing fine- even on the Bus!!! I can not thank you enough - honestly and sincerely, Tommy has done a complete turn around due to the sessions he has had with you. He still listens to your tape every night and it helps him get through each day! Again - thank you so very much.  Please use this email as testimony for any who may be doubtfully..you are great! Sincerely, Jennifer W., Warwick, RI”
 

My Promises to You

Commitment to Your Success: Whether you are interested in past-life exploration for personal growth or simply making an important change in your current life, my goal is your success – as you define it – giving you back your power wherever and whenever it is most important to you.

Accountability: You can count on me to hold you accountable to achieve the results you desire – whether it is changing a destructive habit (quitting smoking for example – or getting your food intake under control -or making an even bigger change in the way you think, act or feel) in a gentle and respectful but consistent manner

Empathy:  We are all human beings and share common challenges and goals: you can expect me to be genuine with you – treating you with the respect you deserve as a fellow traveler.

Laughter and Fun: I love my work and love a good laugh.

Miracles: I see and help create miracles of personal change every week – you can count on me to see possibilities for growth and genuine healing in your life – even places where you may have lost belief in anything ever really changing.

Imagination: See it and believe it and you can achieve it.

Click here for a link to my book THE HYPNOTIC COACH on Amazon.com – it explains my approach – you will get a free copy when you visit my office but here is the link on Amazon

of each hypnosis session for on-going reinforcement.

amazon.com

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